There is a crisis brewing in America, and the church is not exempt from this problem. Men are failing in their callings as Husband, Father, and Family Shepherd. So many times in the last few years I have watched as families fall apart. Many times this could be stopped by the real men of God just taking a seat.
- Take a seat with your wives. Literally take a seat with your wives on the couch once a day to listen and talk. Notice I said listen first, talk second. This order is important. We are not there to problem solve, we are there to honor our spouse. We are called to love and protect her as Christ loves the church. (Ephesians 5:25) We can’t do that well if we don’t know her joys, fears, and concerns. We need to know what the Lord is showing her each day as she walks with him. If she is not walking with Christ and even if she is, it is our job to help her in that journey.
- Take a seat at the table. Make it a priority to eat dinner with your family. There is no time like a family gathered around a table. But it must start with your example. When you make it a priority in your life, your children and spouse will make it a priority in their’s. This might not be an every day event (I wish that it was), but it should be happening several times a week at a minimum.
- Take a seat in the pew. I remember reading the minutes of a church voters meeting where they allowed women to teach Sunday School. Those opposed to the move said that soon there would be no men teaching, following that they would stop coming to worship. They were right. It is our job as Spiritual head of the family to be the first to lead the way into worship. Make it the highest priority of your week. Make it a family event. I will let you in on a secret, there are churches all over the place, so even when you travel you can find them!
- Take a seat on the couch. I have had long and powerful relationships with good Christian counselors over the years, Counseling is not for sissies. It is for real people who struggle with real life, and sometimes need a third ear. If you spouse wants to go to counseling the only question should be when and where. PLEASE take the time to find a solid Christian Counselor. Talk to your pastor or the pastor down the road for recommendations.
- Take a seat with The Book. There is no substitute for time spent in the Word of God. The Word encourages, corrects, trains, challenges, and speaks. The Word reminds you of the relationship you have with your Heavenly Father, the best example we have for our role as father. The Word speaks words of forgiveness, and reminds us how God views us. The Word advises us on how to live in this real world, with real families, and real issues. It may not show you like a search light way down the road, but you can see where to place your next step. (Psalm 119:113)
- Take a seat with other real men. This journey of faith is hard. It is even harder when you do it by yourself. Find for yourself a small group of like minded men, or even a single friend to walk the road together. Hold one another accountable for all the seats listed above. Scripture calls this “Sharpening” iron on iron, so don’t expect this to be easy. (Proverbs 27:17)
It is time to stop standing there claiming to be a real man with your chest all puffed out and take a seat. I would be remiss if I left you with just the advice to sit down. Real men also take a knee for their family. Prayer comes before, during, and after all of the events listed above. Allow God’s presence to be seen in your life. Ask for the wisdom to live as a true man of God. While you are down there, pray for me too. I, like you, live in a real world, with a real family, and real issues.
For more help on being real examples of faith to your family schedule or attend a Real World Parent Workshop. Three hours of sitting that will impact your life.